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Dreamt

by hend

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1.
Lucent 03:42
And I journey through this place And I fall into escape And I dream cascading hope And I sense my time, is running low Slow Then I fade to subconscious Then I can’t fall or regress Then I wept the stench of failure Then I bled unto the world When I drift in galaxies When I roam the plains ever free When I champion my realms When I fell from time, oh how I fell Away Oh how I fell away With how I feel today And I see lucent now And I renounce reality from clouds And I bear an illusory crown And I sense my time is running out Slow
2.
Venturing out in subconscious disbelief, oh I know The grandeur of subconscious disbelief, I submit I wander out in subconscious disbelief, in exotic wonder The grandeur of subconscious disbelief, illuminated miles away Aimless miles roll past The ley lines lead to nowhere Enthralled in a journey to any place Input effort equates to walls and boundaries Forever stuck in the fray With the totals as given The computations made There are no numeric reasons to retain But in journeys through alternate worlds Where I reign as royalty I can find no planar reasons to remain I wander out in subconscious disbelief, in exotic wonder The grandeur of subconscious disbelief, illuminated miles away But wouldn’t you know it In a moment of clarity I traversed grand distance Unspoken, unknown to me As the clarity follows The ley lines amalgam and blend Return to the kingdom Of resigning subversion I wander out in subconscious disbelief, in exotic wonder The grandeur of subconscious disbelief, illuminated miles away
3.
Struggling just to fall asleep This wretched world got the best of me To search the planes and plains alike, For somewhere further out of mind, I just want to sleep and be free Warping worlds Callous seeds Ocean whorls Dark ceremonies I ride as dark and light align, In mirrored frames of my frail design, Uncontrolled but soothed in ecstasy In ecstasy I lie The sorrow and insecurity Dreamtime becomes the remedy Adamant I become, to return to my life Recall the tastes, the feels, and the sights The exit is closed and remains unlit Adamant I become, to return to my lie Where the safety net can unbind Wander the plains in disarray eternally Wander the plains in disarray eternally Silence, the soundless forms take shape Silence, crossing over the tides Silence, their haunting melodies resonate Silence, all senses align I ride as dusk and dawn align, In twisted frames of my sick desires, To rest in peace on the plains of the free I ride on the plains of the free
4.
Disillusion 05:22
When I opened my eyes to see I was taken aback entirely Such time beneath in dreams Excavated the sense of belief Further down into the hole Further down into the whole Further down in the illusion I see Further down in the illusion I believe Further down until you see what I see Further down a world astray, disjointed Further down until you weep, as I weep Further down the sorrowed state of being Down, further down the only place to hide; the only place to lie Has disillusion set in? This world seems bleak and unlivable Has disillusion set in? The desolate sphere turns once again Turns over again, in an aimless orbit I only wanted to sleep for a short while But now sleep seems preferable to this life of lies Living in disillusion
5.
Back into my dreams Where all is as it seemed All that I aspired to become Internal conscious won’t allow The painted masterpiece landscapes Are morose with emotional rains Suffocate, more Decay, here Famous for nothing, forgotten with time Nightmares unspoken, my epitaph a lie Sorrow turns to fear Demonic atrocities Terror consumes the night Anxiety turns to asphyxiation Reaching out in the grandiose world I grasped at straws that fell far short When imagination leans to dismay Even false realms can’t be compelled Even in slight control, I can’t turn the tides I’m stuck I’m stuck in these realms of misfortune What a grave mistake I have made I’m stuck in these realms of misfortune So many terrible mistakes I have made
6.
Wandering alone over frail bridges of geometric phase Acquiescing the fervor between perception and inception Lost between, my reality, and my sordid dreams, my sick assorted dreams These fields seem prevalent and familiar Yet indistinguishable and alien by nature These shapes are distant yet imminent Their overlap is a frail recurring dichotomy The more I see I disbelieve These fractals envelope me Haunting music, the dancing of the dead Their stepping patterns, exacerbate the bend Sight and silence, falter, wither, and end Fractal dichotomy A faint alarm rings, am I awake? Unable to distinguish real from fake My retinas bleed, irises red like wine The delusion in blindness, dreams and life combine
7.
Ever closer the terminal path, with no signage to indicate that In the finality of the black, is the finite encompassed in wrath There’s a tomb in the innards of mind, where brief pre-death moments are enshrined Catacombs that go unseen by eyes, sound like fantasies upheld by lies Artistic, these walls speak Artistic, these walls speak The artwork spells the fables, in cryptographic literature An effigy to discover, in realms of sleeping future In fragments of seconds, at the impact moment To awake drowning in sweat, unsure of the hurried end My brain is telling me I am to die Just beg for silence, a rapid respite My brain is telling me I am to die Why do I struggle, oh why do I try? My brain is telling me I am to die Hollow catacombs where I’ll mummify Ever lost in the mental womb Unborn hopes buried too soon Ever wander the dark facade Unwound stories of pale charades Ever sold the priceless time Draining now to the end of life Subconsciously I push to survive In the crypts of minds creation, to awake in death’s elation Artists who weep at their designs We spew blood into the portraits, as we excrete pain through cognizance Limitations of sleep start to show, but in death is a blackness that’s known Better to rest familiarly, than to struggle awake with belief
8.
All I want is a place to die Somewhere deep behind my smile Just a method and the tools To fix the happiness eluded Some would argue for this world This zero sum game has no winners If life’s best hidden in my sleep Then let me sleep permanently In my despair, bury me All I need is a place to die Without the guilt and hysteria Just some courage and the night In a grand lunar sacrifice I would stave against the value Oh how I squandered my whole share I spent far too much time in lies Forgot how to humanize In my despair, my grave On my own terms, with my two hands In clear conscious, true permanence
9.
Turns out I have no courage, followed the dark to dismay In my disjointed panic, withered in time frittered away All the time passed by me slowly Yet in the pace I fell to the stray I spent so much time in my dreams I lost sight of the reality I spent so much time in my dreams I lost sight of it all I lost so much time, chasing a false life In each realm where I once reigned Now I can’t sleep, nor can I die I have lost all my control I have lost all my control Too fearful for the black silence of death The perpetuity and hindrance of regret Too fearful, such cowardice in me The permanence, of my disbelief Now in my age, I’m utterly incapable Of satiation through sleep, or fixing the tearing seams Turns out I was destined for failure, in my seminal quest for perfection Where only in reveries anointed, was anything impeccable to me All the time passed by me quickly Waning into the disability of my age Into the design, into the black light The light keeping me from sleep I spent my life lost in my dreams Now I pay as death starts to creep I spent my life lost in my dreams Now I pay for this all I spent so much time in my dreams I lost my life I spent so much time in my dreams I lost it all Death is no longer my choice, it escaped through my hands I can’t escape in slumber, can only accept the end

credits

released November 15, 2012

Royce Hix

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hend Wisconsin

The full bio is on the facebook profile (this space is limited to 400 characters).

The summarized version:

I've been writing instrumental piano music since 2005, and have finished one album per year since 2006's 'Redemption'. I've added vocals to my 2011 album, 'Nightfall', and will continue trying for a new release each year.
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